I'm so glad to have all my guy friends. They're looking out for me. It used to be I was afraid of the guys I had sex with. I didn't know who they were. Even though I was having a lot of sex, I was alone. It's totally different now.
It's like a conversion for me. It's blissful. I'm giddy.
I know there's more to it than God and spirituality. I'm happy to have friends who love me. It's not that I'm just giving myself to God in order to have friends. I am spiritual. For a long time I've wanted to have relationships with spiritual beings. Now I realize that my human friends are more real to me than the spiritual. Their bodies are warm, they sweat and smell. And as I get to know them as more than cocks and semen, I know the reality of their other passions. God has come to me in them.
I'm going to quit calling myself a slut. I'm going to call myself Mary, a friend and sexy lover.
